When sailors don't read, and you're on the high seas,
what do you tell the miscreants?
"Terrors--terrors to tell, terrors all can see!
Their heavy, rasping breath makes me cringe.
And their eyes ooze a discharge, sickening . . . ."
A book unread demands retribution, retaliation,
demands for the unwashed and unread
to be hunted down and made keenly aware
of their disgrace.
So next time your charge respond with "I didn't read that,"
well dance around them souting "Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee"
It was a difficult Summer II semester, and only finely tuned magarittas
and this little speech helped me.
"But show us the guilty--one like this
who hides his reeking hands,
and up form the outraged dead we rise,
witness bound to avenge their blood
we rise in flames against him to the end!"
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Here is an email I received from a student after I informed her that her late essay was plagiarized from the internet:
"i do not care right now if i have a F you new what i was happed to at the last min with this baby. i told you did not rite that paper when i did turn it in you said do not worry about it so i did not. than you say write it."
Here is my response:
"It is certainly your right not to care. I am not surprised that you don't. You have made it clear to me all semester that you don't. When I expressed frustration that you were not coming to class prepared, your response was that it was just my opinion. I then explained it was a supported opinion, based on your inablity to answer the simplest questions about the reading assignment. You again stated that it was just my opinion. Later in the semester, when I called on you to discuss a reading assignment, your response was "no comment."
I do know what happened with your cousin's baby, and you are praiseworthy for helping. You are still responsible for your academic obligations. Despite your claim here (which is difficult to decipher) you never indicated that the paper you submitted was not yours. You put your name at the top of it, and made minor modifications in a poor effort to make it appear like you had written it. This action is plagiarism, which I explained in depth at the beginning of the semester. I never said that you should not worry about anything. I said you had failed to turn in an assignment and that you needed to turn it in before the end of the semester. I gave you extra time specifically because I knew you were having personal issues. I even went out of my way to call your home, twice, in an effort to get you turn in the assignment so that you would not earn an automatic F on it. It seems that I care more about your grade on the assignment than you do. I sincerely hope that you eventually change your attitude about your approach to education."
Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee
Oh, I see. The difference between "rite that paper" and "write it." Yes "AIEEEEEEE" indeed. This semester my syllabus will contain an explanation of "blood-guilt," "pollution" and "retaliation." The text they've left unread will hunt them down in retributive vocabulary exams linked to short answer conundrums designed to break their spirit. Maybe I'll see you at the HCC love fest tomorrow. I'll be the one with vulture wings flying near the ceiling looking for selected administrative figures who also bear a guilt-stain. Then, it's off to the boat. Time for me to harpoon me some evil!
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